Hunger Games

Everything came from the earth; potatoes, carrots, peas, tomatoes, cucumbers, gherkins, redberries, strawberries, white cabbage, red cabbage, rhubarb, celery, mother would peel and boil into the night father would help in the garden. The old dirt cellar swallowed the fruit, adding the odours of their different skins to her mood, the jars shelved, glass eyes glistening iris of red green yellow marbles too big for the pocket.

Whilst we children broke our backs helping mother with our humble harvest our mates were off enjoying themselves. We caught them from the corner of the eye; the flash of their bikes, of fishing tackle, a hint you are unsure of so you turn your head a second; already gone. You buckle back down to pulling up potatoes to uprooting carrots only to plant them again in the cellar bury them alive and upright in sand so that they will survive the winter.

I never had a new bike let alone an old one; Onyx, Terrot, Peugot, where on the old posters the P looked like a bigger version of teh g to us children who’d just learned hoe to read so were the new authority on the matter. Mine were always put together from spares scrounged from the rag and bone man the children called le monstre. Others dashed by on their new gear. Some had new gear without making a show of it but if you know like I do what a bunch of snobs the French are, you’ll know this last lot was few in number. Me? My bike was put together from leftovers. A working-class family nourished from what the patch of earth behind the house yielded and you could pray till you were blue in the face;  it didn’t cough up bikes.

(from Verses Nature, forthcoming)

After one month with all stoppers out and some six hundred revisions later, Verses Nature begins to look like the novel I have in my head. Ready to share some of it with you. Tatar is harmless here but be warned, he is raw and rigorous and likely to offend, but I’m going to let him have his say, along with the other characters. Like the how if not the what, but preferably the lot!

Yes you may

pingle JBS
We all have the answers to our questions, tho questions should not be confused with problems. Problem: how sure are you that we are asking the RIGHT questions? If you’ve never asked the question, I guess you’ll never know…

Reader (talking about Mut@tus): The best stories always come from the heart and have a way of connecting with people who read them and think, “I’ve been there. I know what that feels like.”

Me: That’s precisely why I started writing this type of fiction. Somehow the topic of conversation always returned to our bodies, our bodies as battlefields, as a medium for negotiating and occupying social space. So often we reached a point in the conversation where we concluded: ‘we could never say that in public!’ And I thought: why not? We’d laugh, cry (if we had to), then get back to our day-to-day, slipping into a persona that didn’t quite fit, one which made us break out into a rash in places others couldn’t see. When I write, I scratch my itches in public. Without shame. Without a grudge. Without airs and graces. Only a deluded writer fails to recognize that experiences unique to her can be of little interest or benefit to anyone else. Style is another matter.

Beyond

gunther heron III
copyright © Martin Gunther

Emotionally, spiritually, I am now more in a dialogue with my Woman, the politics of being woman, and the violence done to this woman by Structures that gag her

all I want is to find my way back to that place in me from which emanates peace. I am barefoot. Nettles abound. It could  take a while. A while, also, to wipe the slime of semen –  what it represents –  from my life. Not with milk. Milk and semen are not equal adversaries. It is to blood – wondrous loose untampered surges – to blood, that I re/turn; to the supremacy of a blood they do not share, a blood that is cleansing, will protect me. It is not war I wish to declare (though I understand that they can’t live without their battles intellectual, economical, sexual, religious… defining themselves through destruction of the Other, their strength gained through y/our subjugation), nor do I hoist the flag. You cannot beat me because I will not fight: your battle. On your terms. I just: want to: (go (home)): wipe from my path all that impedes me from being who it is my destiny to be. Not in relation to you, or any other, but in relation to, and in harmony with, my own divinity.

(from private correspondence with L.L. December 2011)